299 The Sequel
by Studioslug
Summary: In 2009 ( i was ten ) I wrote a crappy fanfiction for 300. It was a stupid childish parody that made next to no sense. last month I rediscovered my account on here and decided to begin to write a stupid adult parody of a parody of a movie. I hope you enjoy. I suggest you read the first 299 first, though.
1. Chapter 1

The day was finally over and Jerry was glad. Bob had fucked up again, like always, and Jerry was particularly sick of the badly written, repetitive tongue-in-cheek farce that his life had been. Over and over Jerry had contemplated ending his life and putting an end to his torment. He was sick of the kittens spelled wrong, he was sick of the lack of quotation marks, he was sick of the shitty crayon gag, and most of all he was sick of that buttfucker Bob.

Everyone else involved in the endless charade always treated Bob like a fucking messiah. Just because he got to say the line where he corrected him, everyone treated Bob like some sort of a fucking George Carlin, and frankly Jerry was sick of it. It wasn't only jealousy that was fueling both Jerry's inherent hatred of Bob and his Death wish, no. There was more. Bob was a fucking dick to him.

It initially started as a misunderstanding. After the three or four hundredth run through of the whole act, Jerry, wanting to congratulate Bob walked over to him and patted him on the back for a job well done. Jerry, not realizing that Bob was holding an expensive bottle of Chardonnay, made him drop the newly bought bottle on the ground, effectively shattering it into hundreds of pieces.


	2. Chapter 2

Jerry had thought "oh Bob and I are mates, I'm sure he won't be THAT mad", but my god, was Jerry wrong. Bob spun around, face red, and began to angrily scream in Armenian. Jerry, being of polish origins, had no idea what the hell Bob was saying so he began to yell at him in response. That was a massive mistake. Bob, in response to Jerry's screaming, produced a rather ornate looking frilly white glove out of his pocket and began to slap Jerry in the face. Jerry had had a rare condition since he was a lad, and a giant rash broke out on his face soon after Bob began slapping him in the face, thing's were going down-hill fast.

Bob noticed the rash but didn't give a damn and continued slapping Jer-Bear in the face, making the rash even worse. Jerry now required serious medical attention because of how bad the rash was. Finally Bob began to slow down the slapping because of arthritis that had been catalyst by his frisky college years on the tennis team. He finally ceased the childish slapping and Jerry made a break for the door. Bob was too tired to purse Jerry, so after 20 minutes of running; Jerry reached the local hospital. The 299 act had to be cancelled for an entire week while Jerry was in the hospital, and Bob was punished for his angry reaction, making tensions even higher than they were.


	3. Chapter 3

7 days after the incident, Jerry was discharged from the "badly written parody fanfiction" hospital. Most everyone who was a part of the 299 act had given Jerry some sort of a get-well gift; The director had given him a hallmark giftcard, Rick, the flying kitten, had given him a nice box of Cuban cigars, even Mase the writer of the gag script had gotten Jerry a box of expensive Swiss chocolates. The only person who hadn't given Jerry a gift was Bob, the resident asshole and hotshot. Jerry tried to look on the bright side "oh maybe it slipped Bob's mind" or "Maybe Bob's been working so hard that he didn't remember" but deep in the confines of Jerry's heart, he knew the truth; Bob didn't want to get him a gift.

Jerry tried his hardest not to make that conclusion, but it was true. Why did he care so much? Well maybe before this big mess had happened Jerry had developed some feelings for Bob. Nothing too intense, but a sort of admiration. "I mean hey, Bob is a pretty good looking guy…" Jerry solemnly thought to himself. But those were thoughts of the past, Jerry was a new man, He was no longer Gerald H. Mullen; Eaglefield Elementry's resident loser, no. He was a new man. He was Jerry; the best damn actor on the 299 crew, and by god he would prove it.

It was 10 o'clock time for work. Jerry rose out of his king-sized bed, put on his costume and went downstairs to the studio, on his way he passed by the crew of the latest badly written Spongebob x Patrick Homo-erotic romance fic, those guys were a riot. Next he passed by the studio for Kingdom Hearts fanfictions, the door was closed and he heard very audible grunts, he was not going to investigate any further. Finally he turned the corner and reached his Studio, "300 fanfictions".


	4. Chapter 4

Tensions were high as Jerry walked into the studio, as usual he went to the studio kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee and went over to the water tank to shoot the breeze with other members of the production crew. As Jerry began his trek to the water cooler he caught Bob glaring at him through the open door of the director's office, to that he responded with a painful but necessary smile. After talking with Rick and Mase for a while, Jerry checked his watch and realized that he should probably have gotten ready already, so he went quickly to the dressing room to get dressed for the act. He quickly opened the dressing room door and began to take his clothes off, but he didn't notice Bob was in there changing too. When Jerry finally noticed he began to sweat profusely, he didn't want to longingly stare at Bob's hindquarters but they were irresistible looking. Finally Jerry slapped himself out of his butt-induced trance and got back to changing into costume. After going through pre-show protocol Bob and Jerry went out and did the show perfectly, just like they had the previous 634.897 times.

This time something was off. Jerry, being the benevolent gent that he was, almost always patted his fellow production members on the back, for a job well done. When it came Bob's term for the congratulatory pat, he turned away stone-faced and angry, and left for his apartment. Jerry was crushed.


End file.
